Life Outside PLT1

I hate lying to charity workers

Let’s face it, everyone does it. Some charity drive is in full swing, crosses your path and you don’t have the heart to say “no” flat out; I guess it’s in our nature as humans to both suppress and embrace our inner douchebag.

I mean, it’s not like we all personally hate the idea of charities fulfilling their intended purposes but it’s really not by any stroke of bad luck that we go “sorry, I don’t have any change” or “i’m really busy right now but i’ll check out your website when I get home” or “i’ve just had my prostate and testicles removed and my doctor has discouraged me from reaching into my pant pockets so if you want me to donate you’ll have to help me carefully remove my pants and extract my wallet from them and then help me carefully put my pants back on”.
These are all pretty lame excuses but at the heart of it all we’re just trying to avoid having to say “look, I have nothing against your organisation but we as first-world borne citizens of the free world have been taught our entire lives, by people with vested interests in our success, to not be altruistic and to strive against all odds to hang on to what is ours.”

There’s no point hiding it anymore, so let’s take turns admiting it:
My name is Simon and i’m a douchebag.