Life Outside PLT1

One? MORE LIEK TWO!!

May 26, 2006 on 9:12 pm | In Contemplation | | Sicopath

I don’t want to alarm you…

…but if you haven’t heard the remake of “One” by U2; a great song by them from back when they were good, it sucks. Imagine U2 playing instrumentals while a washed-up female vocalist butchers the original song while trying too hard to sound soulful and artistic… Oh wait, you don’t have to. BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

Now, I have a few things to say about how the future of music is a dark and shameful place. I could never really pinpoint the exact moment where the popular format of music suddenly changed to hearing masculine black women trying to artfully hold a note and failing miserably at it.

And I could never really pinpoint the exact moment where the popular format of music video suddenly changed to a bunch of inbred-looking trolls jumping around and making facial expressions as though they really needed to take a shit.

But enough about that subsection of humanity’s dregs, god knows that’s all been beaten to death by other kinds of elitists. There is however, another subsection devoted to ugly men who think that just because they have long hair; they know how to play guitar and sing, sometimes both at the same time.

I’m convinced that they’re an elaborate ploy to show the world how stupid overfed white suburban girls are. I mean damn; all their songs sound the same, their instrumentals sound the same and the vocals all adhere to the same monotonous, robotic drone that can only come from a retarded producer that’s dispassionate enough to not even try to hide the fact that camel-face’s voice track has been run through a reverb machine about 402 times.

And before you shitheads accuse me of being a music hater; I’ll have you know that I quite enjoyed Placebo’s last album, I strongly support anyone who has made the decision to buy Massive Attack’s greatest hits album and I’m looking forward to Portishead’s new album which should see the light of day sometime soon, although I’m sure the general public will overlook it no matter how great it is due to the lack of electric guitars, melodic synthesizers and guest vocals by 50 cent.

SUMMARY OF THIS ARTICLE:
*Sicopath is sick of Bono’s stupid sunglasses and his “we care a lot” style political zealotry. We all know he’s trying to divert us from the fact that he can’t write good songs anymore and he should eat a bag of aids and die.

*Sicopath refers to Chad Kroger as “Chode Crowbar”, by that he’s implying that Chad uses his half-inch peener to pry open man-holes. Probably to sate his addiction to RAT FLESH.