Life Outside PLT1

How do I get onto all these mailing lists?

From an email I received:

Glider Pilots Find Relief!
OK, here goes: After reading all those recent posts about removing self-adhesive external male catheters, I’m going to put my already
dubious reputation at risk and share my “invention.” I have a Powered-Pee-Pump in my glider. Now don’t laugh so hard - everyone
does, till they get a closer look at the thing and a little lightbulb goes off over their heads….
Here’s the deal: as a new pilot I found that the usual methods for relief were pretty damn distracting and I’d look up from the baggie
and see my ASI approaching redline. (Found I was putting the nose down to encourage gravity flow….) And I simply wasn’t interested in wearing a condom the whole time I was flying, (it’s supposed to be “free-flight” after all,) or the hassle of un-gluing, etc. Then I realized my glider has an electrical system.
So, I found a small, corrosion resistant, self-priming 12-24 VDC liquid pump from these guys: http://www.smartproducts.com/liquid.html
They had an “R&D” special price of $25 for the first one. It has mounting tabs allowing it to be easily screwed to any flat surface;
mine went onto the floor of my 1-35 just ahead of my instrument panel.
The pump is fitted with 1/8″ NPT barbs so it was very easy to plumb tubing onto. I used a length of flexible latex tubing on the “from”
side, and cheap pvc tubing on the exit side. Pump is wired to fuse and toggle switch in my panel.
For the “connector” I used a small rubber bulb from an old-fashioned child’s bicycle horn. I super-glued the latex hose into the small end
of the bulb. I cut and radiused a hole in the large end of the bulb, “custom-sized” for a snug but comfortable fit. (You’re on your own
here….) I drilled a 1/16″ vent hole in the side of the bulb which is normally facing upwards, when the bulb is deployed. OK, now here’s the
fun part. To don the “connector”, I simply switch on the pump, which creates a small vacuum. Then I cover the 1/16″ whole with my thumb and hold the large hole against the head of the little guy for a few seconds, and it “self-installs”…. I release the small vent hole, oncentrate on flying, and there’s no muss, no fuss. When done, I disconnect with pump still running, tip the bulb vertically to completely drain, stow the bulb, and flip the switch off. At the moment, I am using a two-liter plastic soda bottle (mounted in what
was a capacity flask mount in the nose of the glider) for waste storage. Bottle has a tiny vent hole at very top and does not leak. I
will eventually plumb a line out the tail or wheel well. For the time being, the standing joke is about moving the CG forward during the
flight by slowly transporting liquid from the Camelbak mounted behind the seat into the reservoir in the glider’s nose.
Gravity and spillage are a non-issue. The damn thing has worked flawlessly every time since I installed it about two years ago.
Current draw seems minimal. (I still carry a baggie as back-up is always a good idea….) Total, one-time cost about $35. No, there is no “vibrate” option, and, no, I’m not going to take pictures of it in use!
There, my dirty little secret is out of the bag. (What did I just let myself in for?!)
Blue skies, Paul