Life Outside PLT1

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

Now here’s a story from back when I was 5 years old.

I was at a sporting field at the time with my friend Marvin, it was a clear and warm day so naturally we were throwing rocks at each other, a pebble of mine struck Marvin on the head which amused Wang who quipped “man, you just shot Marvin in the face” I didn’t know what the hell he meant though, nor did it make sense in any context now that I think about it – it was 1991, Pulp Fiction hadn’t even come out at that time.

Wang was an old man that hung around the park alot, he was an elderly asian gentleman with a slight moustache and over his normal-people clothes he wore a dark-blue jacket with metal shoulder pads on the exterior of it, nobody really knew who he was or where he came from but the adults seemed to trust him so I never thought much of it.
Anyways, back to the story – As Marvin brushed off his cheek and looked back at me while preparing his shot, the sky darkened. Everyone stopped mid-play and looked to the sky – we saw a smoking vehicle catapaulting itself over the horizon, it wasn’t until it drifted closer that we saw what it was – a penis-shaped shuttle – and it was falling out of the sky.

The penis-shaped shuttle crash-landed at the far side of the field with momentum, dragging an earthy brown mess across the grassy field before the penis-shaped shuttle disappeared behind it’s own smoke I stared into the cockpit and I saw Wang, but not our Wang; this one didn’t have a moustache – I guess he was younger. Old Wang rushed over to the crash site and took off his jacket, fanning the smouldering wreckage he parted the smoke and the broken, crawling figure of young Wang emerged; old wang rushed over yelling nonsense and young Wang frantically took his hand with a bloodied one of his own, looked old Wang in his eye and intejected “YOU HAVE TO GO BACK – TO THE FUTURE.”

BREAKING THE COMBO

Well fuck, my inactive WoW account got hacked. Good news though, recovering everything seems to be within reach and as an added bonus, blizzard support sent me emails for each character restoration which combined makes a comprehensive list of every vendorable item and gold amount i’d accumulated and more:

Money Restored: 11,041g 16s 92c

Item(s) Restored:
Arcane Loops of Anger
Baby Spice x45
Band of the Invoker
Barrelhead Goby x5
Battlecast Hood
Battlecast Pants
Bolt of Imbued Frostweave x130
Bonescale Snapper x4
Bracer of Worn Molars
Braid of Salt and Fire
Champion’s Seal x40
Circle of Arcane Streams
Conqueror’s Deathbringer Gloves
Conqueror’s Deathbringer Hood
Conqueror’s Deathbringer Leggings
Conqueror’s Deathbringer Robe
Crystallized Life x4
Dalaran Cooking Award x64
Deathchill Cloak
Deep Sea Monsterbelly x6
Destruction Potion
Dragonfin Angelfish x20
Ebon Shadowbag
Elixir of Draenic Wisdom x7
Elixir of Water Walking x20
Emblem of Conquest x18
Emblem of Frost x83
Emblem of Triumph x138
Engraved Gargoyle Femur
Evoker’s Charm
Forge Ember
Frozen Shadoweave Boots
Frozen Shadoweave Robe
Frozen Shadoweave Shoulders
Glacial Salmon x9
Glow Worm x16
Gul’dan’s Gloves of Conquest
Gul’dan’s Hood of Conquest
Gul’dan’s Leggings of Conquest
Gul’dan’s Robe of Conquest
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x17
Iceweb Spider Silk x24
Imbued Netherweave Bag
Jeweled Fishing Pole
Lightbane Focus
Lovely Purple Dress
Magic Eater x11
Musselback Sculpin x4
Nettlefish x39
Old Spices x65
Pauldrons of Catastrophic Emanation
Plush Sash of Guzbah
Polished Dragonslayer’s Signet
Prelate’s Snowshoes
Primal Life x8
Primal Mana x2
Primal Nether x9
Primal Water x9
Red Winter Hat
Runed Titanium Rod
Runic Mana Injector x20
Savory Deviate Delight x13
Seethe
Shard of the Crystal Heart
Sharpened Fish Hook x29
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soul Shard
Soulsplinter
Stormchops x2
Sundial of the Exiled
Tabard of the Scarlet Crusade
Titan-Forged Hood of Dominance
Titan-Forged Rune of Accuracy
Titan-Forged Slippers of Dominance
Valorous Plagueheart Gloves
Valorous Plagueheart Robe
Valorous Plagueheart Shoulderpads
Violet Badge
Voidheart Crown
Voidheart Gloves
Volde’s Cloak of the Night Sky
Weather-Beaten Fishing Hat

Money Restored:

Item(s) Restored:
Arakkoa Divining Rod
Arakkoa Sage’s Shawl
Auslese’s Light Channeler
Buzzard Bites x2
Chilled Meat
Crystal Citrine Necklace
Deadly Borer Leggings
Dragon Stabler’s Gauntlets
Dreaming Glory x11
Elixir of Draenic Wisdom x15
Elixir of Healing Power x13
Fel Lotus x7
Felweed x25
Flame Cap x3
Frostweave Cloth x20
Glyph of Power Word: Shield
Guild Tabard
Imbued Vial x4
Keeper’s Ring of Piety
Key of Time
Khadgar’s Kilt of Abjuration
Mad Alchemist’s Potion x8
Marsh Bracers
Mindfire Waistband
Mote of Life x8
Necklace of Bloodied Feathers
Necklace of Calm Skies
Netherbloom x16
Netherweave Cloth x13
Nightmare Vine x3
Philosopher’s Stone
Pungent Seal Whey x33
Ragveil x8
Red Pointy Hat
Sandals of Broken Dreams
Scroll of Intellect VI x4
Sleeveless T-Shirt
Sun Rock Ring
Super Healing Potion x10
Super Mana Potion x4
Tempest’s Touch
Terocone x22
Unearthed Enkaat Wand
Unidentified Plant Parts x2
Worg Haunch x4
Wraps of the San’layn

Money Restored: 2,806g 92s 48c

Item(s) Restored:
Accursed Crawling Cape
Ancient Pendant of Arathor
Arcanum of Torment
Azure Moonstone x20
Baby Spice x4
Band of Stained Souls
Barbed Ymirheim Choker
Blade of the Empty Void
Blood Garnet x10
Blood Weeper
Blood Weeper
Boots of the Neverending Path
Chewed Leather Wristguards
Clefthoof Britches
Dalaran Cooking Award x15
Dawnstone x6
Deadly Poison IX x26
Deep Peridot x19
Dense Stone x100
Drakkari Offerings x39
Emblem of Frost x69
Emblem of Triumph x130
Felglacier Bolter
Flame Spessarite x19
Flayer’s Black Belt
Frostweave Cloth x27
Frozen Orb x14
Gnomish Army Knife
Gold Bar x11
Gold Ore x3
Golden Draenite x10
Greenhealer’s Garb
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x18
Heavy Leather x10
Hemorrhaging Circle
Incisor Fragment
Instant Poison IX x6
Iron Bar x6
Iron Ore x15
Krick’s Beetle Stabber
Krick’s Beetle Stabber
Liar’s Tongue
Living Ruby x9
Mageweave Bag
Mammoth Meal x8
Medium Leather x14
Meteorite Whetstone
Mithril Ore x66
Netherweave Cloth x137
Nightseye x15
Nighttime
Noble Topaz x16
Northern Stew x5
Old Spices x9
Papa’s Brand New Knife
Relic of Ulduar x260
Rhino Dogs x6
Ring of Scarlet Shadows
Roasted Worg x2
Rugged Leather x20
Runic Healing Potion x13
Runic Mana Potion x6
Seven-Fingered Claws
Shadow Draenite x13
Shaggy Wyrmleather Leggings
Shocking Claws
Silithid Chitin x20
Silver Ore x6
Sleeveless T-Shirt
Sphere of Red Dragon’s Blood
Star of Elune x13
Talasite x14
Thick Leather x20
Thistle Tea x10
Thorium Ore
Truesilver Bar x15
Truesilver Ore x20
Unsharpened Ice Razor
Vengeance of the Forsaken
Vrykul Bones x122
Worm Delight x20
Wound Poison VII x20

Money Restored: 3,753g 4s 71c

Item(s) Restored:
Arcane-Shielded Helm
Band of Stained Souls
Black Icicle
Borean Armor Kit x5
Borean Leather x7
Bracers of the Herald
Chunk o’ Mammoth x4
Cloak of the Enemy
Crashin’ Thrashin’ Racer Controller
Crescent of Brooding Fury
Crusader’s Locket
Crystal Infused Leather x2
Dabiri’s Enigma
Deviate Scale x12
Drakkari Offerings x49
Dream Shard x2
Emblem of Conquest x3
Emblem of Frost x61
Emblem of Triumph x32
Eternal Earth
Fel Hide
Fel Scales x7
Frost Wyrm Ribcage
Frostweave Cloth x17
Frozen Orb x27
Garfrost’s Two-Ton Hammer
Girdle of the Pallid Knight
Hallowed Helm
Hate-Forged Cleaver
Hate-Forged Cleaver
Heavy Borean Leather x40
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x15
Icebound Bronze Cuirass
Icy Dragonscale x63
Infinite Dust x7
Jormungar Scale x57
Keystone Great-Ring
Knothide Leather x17
Kurzel’s Warband
Legplates of Relentless Onslaught
Mead Basted Caribou x3
Meteorite Whetstone
Murkblood Avenger’s Legplates
Needle-Encrusted Scorpion
Nerubian Chitin x41
Nighttime
Nighttime
Orange Martial Shirt
Plated Greaves of Providence
Plated Saronite Bracers
Reaper of Dark Souls
Regal Aurous Shoulderplates
Relic of Ulduar x60
Rimefang’s Claw
Rimefang’s Claw
Ring of Scarlet Shadows
Rugged Armor Kit x20
Runic Healing Potion x7
Sabatons of Draconic Vigor
Savage Saronite Legplates
Savage Saronite Pauldrons
Savage Saronite Skullshield
Scourgelord’s Frigid Chestplate
Shoulderplates of Frozen Blood
Skinning Knife
Solid Platinum Band
Soul Harvester’s Charm
Special Issue Legplates
Sphere of Red Dragon’s Blood
Super Healing Potion x30
Tapestry of the Frozen Throne
Tempered Saronite Bracers
The Warlord’s Depravity
Thick Clefthoof Leather x4
Titansteel Bonecrusher
Twilight Opal
Tyrannical Beheader
Vambraces of Unholy Command
Vrykul Bones x163
Weeping Gauntlets

Money Restored: 1,064g 29s 48c

Item(s) Restored:
Abomination Shoulderblades
Adamantite Ore x6
Amulet of the Torn-heart
Ancient Pendant of Arathor
Armbands of the Construct
Band of Frosted Thorns
Belt of the Iron Servant
Black Spire Sabatons
Blackened Ghoul Skin Leggings
Bolstered Legplates
Bracers of the Smothering Inferno
Breastplate of the Afterlife
Breastplate of the Righteous
Champion’s Seal x80
Chestplate of Titanic Fury
Cobalt Ore x28
Crystallized Air x6
Crystallized Earth x8
Crystallized Fire x8
Crystallized Shadow x3
Deathforged Legplates
Deflection Band
Don Carlos’ Famous Hat
Drakescale Collar
Elixir of Major Fortitude x7
Elixir of Mastery x3
Emblem of Conquest x99
Emblem of Frost x62
Emblem of Heroism x8
Emblem of Triumph x107
Eternal Fire x6
Eternium Ore
Falric’s Wrist-Chopper
Firestrider Chestguard
Flame-Bathed Steel Girdle
Frostblight Pauldrons
Frostweave Cloth x5
Frozen Orb x14
Furnace Stone
Ghoul Commander’s Cuirass
Gloves of the Dark Exile
Greaves of the Lingering Vortex
Hammer Pick
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x20
Helm of Purified Thoughts
Icebane Chestguard
Icebane Girdle
Icebane Treads
Ick’s Rotting Thumb
Incisor Fragment
Judgement Cover
Justice Bearer’s Pauldrons
Khorium Ore x5
Legacy of Thunder
Leggings of Innumerable Barbs
Leggings of the Snowy Bramble
Legplates of the Righteous
Libram of Furious Blows
Libram of Souls Redeemed
Mana Potion Injector x20
Mariel’s Sorrow
Mark of the Relentless
Mark of the Unyielding
Marrowgar’s Scratching Choker
Mask of Penance
Neverending Winter
Orange Martial Shirt
Orca-Hunter’s Harpoon
Pauldrons of the Souleater
Phoenix-fire Band
Piccolo of the Flaming Fire
Plated Greaves of Providence
Power Enhancing Loop
Relic of Ulduar x7
Rimefang’s Claw
Royal Crest of Lordaeron
Runic Healing Potion
Runic Mana Injector x35
Runic Mana Potion x8
Rusty Frozen Fingerguards
Sabatons of the Iron Watcher
Saronite Gargoyle Cloak
Saronite Ore x10
Saronite Swordbreakers
Seal of the Pantheon
Second Helm of the Executioner
Sentinel’s Winter Cloak
Shard of the Virtuous
Shieldwall of the Breaker
Shoulderplates of Bloodshed
Signet of Hopeful Light
Snapper Extreme x33
Sparkling Frostcap x16
Spaulders of the Righteous
Spiked Titansteel Helm
Staggering Legplates
Stoneguard
Stormherald
Symbol of Divinity x4
Symbol of Kings x130
Symbol of Redemption
Tainted Girdle of Mending
Tears of the Vanquished
The Black Heart
The Skull of Ruin
Titanium Earthguard Ring
Titanium Frostguard Ring
Titanium Ore x16
Titanium Spellshock Ring
Titansteel Bar x10
Verdigris Chain Belt
Violet Badge
Waistguard of the Tutor
Wispcloak

Money Restored: 1,261g 33s 66c

Item(s) Restored:
Apprentice’s Shirt
Arcane Powder x86
Autumn’s Glow x13
Bloodstone x29
Bridenbrad’s Sash
Bronze Bar x14
Bronze Setting x17
Celestial Ink x12
Charged Wand of the Cleft
Choker of Betrayal
Citrine x6
Cloak of Crimson Snow
Cloak of Frozen Spirits
Dalaran Jewelcrafter’s Token x13
Dark Jade
Darkflame Ink x2
Dawnstar Ink x10
Dense Stone x16
Dusky Pigment
Engraved Truesilver Ring
Faces of Doom
Fiery Ink x3
Figurine - Sapphire Owl
Figurine - Twilight Serpent
Flask of Mojo x16
Forest Emerald x17
Frostsavage Belt
Frostsavage Boots
Frostsavage Bracers
Frostsavage Cowl
Frostsavage Gloves
Frostsavage Leggings
Frostweave Bandage x14
Frostweave Cloth x9
Frozen Orb
Glyph of Avenging Wrath x2
Glyph of Fire Elemental Totem
Gold Bar x2
Gold Ore x5
Hat of Wintry Doom
Highseas Wristwraps
Huge Citrine x20
Icy Pigment
Imbued Vial x4
Incursion Vestments
Ink of the Sea x43
Ink of the Sky x9
Iron Bar x3
Jadefire Ink x3
Jeweler’s Kit
Kilix’s Silk Slippers
Kurzel’s Angst
Lion’s Ink x20
Mageweave Bag
Mageweave Cloth x40
Mana Potion Injector x20
Medallion of Grand Marshal Morris
Monarch Topaz x18
Moonglow Ink x32
Northsea Pearl
Obsidian Warbeads x22
Ring of Decimation
Robe of the Crimson Order
Rune of Portals x20
Runecaster’s Mantle
Runecloth x80
Runic Healing Potion x5
Runic Mana Potion x10
Scarlet Ruby x15
Scroll of Agility VIII x37
Scroll of Intellect VIII x34
Scroll of Recall x2
Scroll of Recall III x4
Scroll of Spirit VIII x10
Scroll of Stamina VIII x34
Scroll of Strength VIII x48
Shimmering Cold-Iron Band
Shimmering Ink x15
Silk Cloth x120
Simple Grinder
Skoll’s Fang
Sky Sapphire x7
Snowfall Ink x3
Sun Crystal x12
Tabard of the Kirin Tor
Thawpelt Sack
The Argent Skullcap
The Darkspeaker’s Footpads
Thorium Ore x4
Thorium Setting x16
Transborean Bracers
Transborean Cover
Transborean Wraps
Troll-hide Bag
Twilight Opal x9
Valonforth’s Remembrance
Veiled Ametrine
Virtuoso Inking Set
Vrykul Bones x25
Wool Cloth x40

Money Restored: 947g 52s 88c

Item(s) Restored:
Beast Lord Handguards
Beast Lord Mantle
Blade of the Empty Void
Blessed Hauberk of Undead Slaying
Blessed Leggings of Undead Slaying
Boots of the Neverending Path
Bracers of the Smothering Inferno
Bronze Tube x10
Chilled Meat x30
Chunk o’ Mammoth x7
Coilfang Armaments x9
Copper Modulator x6
Copper Ore x21
Crescent of Brooding Fury
Crystallized Earth
Crystallized Water x8
Dense Stone x48
Drake-Mounted Crossbow
Drakkari Offerings x98
Emblem of Conquest x16
Emblem of Frost x8
Emblem of Heroism x35
Emblem of Triumph x41
Explosive Decoy x18
Fang of Truth
Fel Iron Bar x20
Fezzik’s Pocketwatch
Frostweave Cloth x5
Gloves of the Dark Exile
Gnomish Army Knife
Gnomish Lightning Generator
Gold Power Core
Handful of Cobalt Bolts x12
Handful of Fel Iron Bolts x5
Hardened Adamantite Bar x6
Heartseeker Scope x3
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x14
Honeymint Tea x3
Horns of the Spurned Val’kyr
Hourglass of the Unraveller
Iceweb Spider Silk x6
Inlaid Mithril Cylinder x2
Interwoven Scale Bracers
Jagged Ice Band
Khorium Ore x12
Mammoth Cutters x754
Mithril Tube x3
Mobius Band
Mote of Earth x4
Mote of Fire x4
Nat Pagle’s Extreme Angler FC-5000
Pauldrons of Concealed Loathing
Poached Emperor Salmon x4
Polished Regimental Hauberk
Primal Earth x20
Primal Fire x14
Rimebane Rifle
Runic Healing Potion x18
Runic Mana Injector x18
Runic Mana Potion x3
Rusted-Link Spiked Gauntlets
Saronite Bomb x56
Saronite Ore
Saronite Razorheads x1494
Savory Deviate Delight x20
Scrapbot Construction Kit x17
Security DELTA Data Access Card
Signet of Bridenbrad
Silver Contact x35
Silver Ore x24
Solid Platinum Band
Solid Stone x2
Sovereign’s Belt
Staff of Trickery
Stained-Glass Shard Ring
Sun Scope x2
Super Healing Potion x40
Tabard of the Ebon Blade
Tabard of the Scarlet Crusade
Terrorshaft Arrow x699
The Fleshshaper
Thorium Widget x7
Tin Ore x32
Trapper’s Shirt
Trespasser’s Boots
Truesight Ice Blinders
Truesilver Bar x3
Truesilver Transformer x2
Ultrasafe Transporter: Toshley’s Station
Volatile Blasting Trigger
Vrykul Bones x162
Winterfin Clam x34
Worm Meat x7
Wormhole Generator: Northrend
Zombie Sweeper Shotgun

Money Restored: 15g 0s 30c

Item(s) Restored:

Money Restored:

Item(s) Restored:
Adamantine Figurine
Aldor Tabard
Arcanite Ripper
Armor Plated Combat Shotgun
Armored Titanium Goggles
Auchenai Key
Band of Frosted Thorns
Battlescar Spirebands
Blessed Legplates of Undead Slaying
Bloodberry Elixir x3
Bolstered Legplates
Borean Leather x12
Breastplate of Jagged Stone
Breastplate of the Solemn Council
Bronze Tube x20
Burning Skull Pendant
Charged Titanium Specs
Chilled Warblade
Choker of the Betrayer
Cloak of Holy Extermination
Cloak of Peaceful Resolutions
Cobalt Bar x11
Cobra Scales x2
Crescent of Brooding Fury
Crusader’s Locket
Crystal Infused Leather x5
Crystallized Air x8
Crystallized Water x3
Dragonflight Great-Ring
Drakkari Offerings x121
Dream Shard x2
Elixir of Ironskin
Emblem of Frost x4
Emblem of Heroism x6
Emblem of Triumph x40
Emerald Choker
Essence of Gossamer
Fel Hide
Fel Iron Bomb x10
Flamewrought Key
Frostguard Drape
Froststeel Tube x2
Frostweave Cloth x33
Frozen Orb
Girdle of the Pallid Knight
Glyph of Revenge
Gnomish Army Knife
Gnomish Lightning Generator
Handful of Cobalt Bolts x12
Handful of Fel Iron Bolts x16
Heavy Frostweave Bandage x20
Icy Dragonscale
Infinite Dust x5
Journeyman’s Backpack
Key of Time
Lavanthor’s Talisman
Lucky Old Sun
Lucky Old Sun
Mead Basted Caribou x18
Mercy’s Hold
Monster Slayer’s Kit
Nat Pagle’s Extreme Angler FC-5000
Nether Dragonscales x9
Onyxian Whelpling
Poached Northern Sculpin
Relic of Ulduar x17
Reservoir Key
Righteous Weapon Coating
Righteous Weapon Coating
Righteous Weapon Coating
Righteous Weapon Coating
Righteous Weapon Coating
Runic Healing Injector x20
Runic Healing Potion x6
Saronite Bomb x95
Savage Saronite Bracers
Savage Saronite Legplates
Savage Saronite Waistguard
Savage Saronite Walkers
Scarab of Isanoth
Scarlet Signet
Scarlet Signet
Seal of the Pantheon
Signet of Bridenbrad
Silver Contact x13
Silver Spade
Solid Platinum Band
Sollerets of Suffering
Sonic Booster
Sphere of Red Dragon’s Blood
Spiced Worm Burger
Squire’s Shirt
Tabard of the Ebon Blade
Tabard of the Wyrmrest Accord
The Darkspeaker’s Iron Walkers
Thick Clefthoof Leather x36
Thorium Widget x2
Titansteel Destroyer
Titansteel Shield Wall
Tracker’s Balanced Knives
Trollkickers
Unsmashable Heavy Band
Vengeance Bindings
Volatile Blasting Trigger x2
Vrykul Bones x84
Warchief’s Legplates of Carnage
Wind Scales x2
Zapthrottle Mote Extractor
Zaxxis Insignia x36
Zombie Sweeper Shotgun

Isn’t she lovely…

… Isn’t she wonderful
Isn’t she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we’d be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn’t she lovely made from love

SON OF WANG 8: I’m drunk and writing this on the spot wihtout any forethrought

Continuing on from where i was that then; the parking lot was so wide in my vision it would almost seem as though the world was widening. It was so wide that when it sits around the house it literally sits around the house; but it’s the world i’m talking about so that makes it okay.

I popped a mint into my mouth and began crunching on the hard tablet; so impatient I was to enjoy the flavour explosion, but that’s besides the point at hand. I have to track down my father.

I took off down the road as briskly as I could, knowing my father and his crackhead-like store of physical energy, I would have to go steadily, not at a sprint. I followed the ever widening space between drops of blood away from the sunset; or was it that the sunset was moving away from me? I don’t care and neither should you. As I continued along at my ever more desperate pace my long john became manlier and manlier. I feared that soon it would overwhelm my being and I would become nothing more than a massive dick, but I digress.

I was becoming tired continuing down the road and across the street until I came to the place where gay people meet; they saw my giant rocket and wouldn’t you know, they became frightened as cats and buried their heads in the snow.

The end.

Or is it?

No it’s not

PSA

Yesterday was kebab thursday.

The kebabs are rather good.

I dripped chilli sauce onto a white shirt. I blame the fact that I ordered BBQ instead of chilli. Obviously people don’t understand my accent.

I washed my shirt, and then sat around in my office for a while wearing a thick sweatshirt, on the basis that if my manager came in this would be better for my prospects of continued employment than sitting there topless.

It was really really warm sitting around like that in a room without Air Conditioning, in almost-direct sunlight, although I dare say Itamar would have found it a touch chilly. Chilli. Sorry.
Anyway, none of this shit matters. What really matters is that Jeremy found the best fucking horoscope ever, in the aforementioned kebab place.

The horoscope for Pisces was something along the lines of:
Blablabla, usual crap, you are awesome “don’t ever change”. The part in “quotation marks” is, in fact a quote.

DON’T EVER CHANGE. There we have it, no need to read another horoscope ever again. It’s all pre-determined. Pisceans are perfect. I’ve converted to Calvinism.

Jeremy is a Pisces. I am a Pisces. I assume there are other people who are also Pisces, but that’s not the fucking point.

We forgot to take a pxt as evidence, or keep the horoscope.

Some things just don’t change.

And apparently, that’s just the way it should be.

Random MSN convos

I’ve had some random MSN conversations while at work, some of which were NSFW and all of which I shouldn’t be having anyway.

This one struck me as a bit odd:

I should have utilised the opportunity, but I wasn't awake yet

After this I think we blocked each other.

Hmm, I should go do some work.

The proposed Section 92 of the Copyright Amendment Act assumes Guilt Upon Accusation

The following is copied from http://creativefreedom.org.nz/s92.html. For those of you that haven’t heard of Section 92a, it’s worth a read. For those of you that have, also worth a read. Check out the site as well:

———————————————————————————

Copyright infringement is wrong, but should people, schools, and hospitals have their internet connections and websites cut off due to accusations of copyright infringement?

111 calls, schools, businesses and artists rely on Internet Connections so it’s not unreasonable to say that “Internet access is a basic human right”, which is presumably why former Labour MP Judith Tizard said that. Unfortunately she also said:

“It is easier for ISPs, Internet Service Providers, to cut off anyone who might be breaking the law. “

– Judith Tizard (previous Labour MPs) in a bFM interview

This explanation was given for Section 92a and 92c of the Copyright Act: the parts that involve cutting off internet connections and websites based on nothing more than accusations. But our focus isn’t to point the finger at MPs because they still have time to stop this unjust law before the regulation comes into effect on the 28th of February, 2009.

“A “copyright holder” can get you kicked off an ISP without having to provide any evidence of an actual infringement. Having to [provide evidence] is apparently “impractical” and “ridiculous” in the words of RIANZ chief executive Campbell Smith. What happens when the “you” above is a public library, or a school? Or if the “copyright holder” makes a mistake or a malicious accusation?”

– ComputerWorld Magazine

Making mistakes can be an easy thing to do, 25% of computers are infected with viruses that download and distribute material without the owners knowledge. What happens to owners whose wireless internet connection is compromised? What if that owner is a school or hospital?

As stated above, Section 92 has no punishment for false accuser, leaving this law ripe for abuse. RIANZ (the Recording Industry Association of New Zealand) are pushing for this to be done in the name of protecting creativity and the arts, but we don’t believe this fairly represents artist’s values.

Already, TelstraClear’s head of corporate services, Matthew Bolland, has stated that from 1 November 2008, TelstraClear are taking down websites upon a single accusation of copyright breach: “We don’t check or verify,” he says “We take it down.” ISPs like TelstraClear do not and cannot identify copyright infringement which is why this law forces them to take actions such as these.

Mainstream organisations such as the Consumers Institute of New Zealand and The National Business Review have warned about the danger of such a law:

“The onus is then on the customer to prove their case and get their website access reinstated. We believe this responsibility is open to malicious abuse by parties who wish to close-down websites or disrupt in some way another person’s business or enjoyment of the use of the internet. “

– Consumer Institute NZ [PDF]

Effectively, a single person’s bad behaviour can bring down an institution, all because certain elements of the recording, videogame and movie industries can’t solve their own piracy problems.

“Businesses support the need to protect intellectual property, and we are sympathetic to the significant problems the music, movie and gaming industries face. However, balance is the key. Protecting one person’s interests at the expense of others is completely inappropriate,” Telecommunications Carriers Forum chief executive Ralph Chivers said.

“More sadly, it’s symptomatic of a technologically uneducated group of political decision makers being taken for a ride by lobbyists putting their interests ahead of the nation.”

– National Business Review

In practice many businesses and people may be forced to bear the burden of paying for a secondary backup internet connection and website just in case they are falsely accused.

The dangers of a law supporting Guilt Upon Accusation are becoming increasingly understood and the CFF aim to help spread the word. Overseas similar laws have been abused to limit free speech, restrict artists, and hurt businesses.

No one we know – certainly no one at the CFF – is in favour of fellow artists losing income due to copyright infringement. We do however have grave concerns with recent trends in international copyright laws that bypass the traditional expectations of civil rights (such as due process). How far should should we go to hunt down copyright infringers? Should we shut down internet connections or websites based on accusations? Should we let private companies snoop on internet connections without a police warrant? Should iPods be searched by customs when you travel through the airport?

Section 92a and 92c are unjust laws. We must tell politicians that we want copyright changed in fair ways to help artists work and to stop injustices like Guilt Upon Accusation being done in our name.

http://creativefreedom.org.nz/s92.html

I was bored

The cricket had finished earlier than expected and I had eaten all the pizza I had. I was quite bored and decided to make one of those coffin storage boxes that are in even pizza box from Hell Pizza. Also please note Hell don’t peal their kumara properly so their kumara chips awful.

From idea to failure

During the party I went to at New Year’s I realised that TVs are now large enough, that a lot of people can sit around them and that just about everyone now has a cellphone. So why restrict yourself to only having a maximum of 4 players for a game? If you could use a cellphone as a controller via Bluetooth, then you could have many players playing the same game, perhaps playing virtual cricket.

Figure 1. Crude drawing of people sitting around a TV playing cricket.

This seemed like a cool little project to work on. Since the bluetooth protocol has named devices, you could automatically have your name appear in game. Also FPGAs are cheap now, so combined with some basic bluetooth hardware it would be possible to build your own console system, though for now I was going to use my laptop as a testbed.

The first task was working out how to connect a bluetooth device (in this case my cellphone) to my computer via code. My language of choice is C# as it’s the language I’ve worked with it for about 4 years now and tends to have better library support on the Windows platform.

After a couple of minutes hunting around I discovered that there was a bluetooth library in the Coding4Fun samples. From there it was a breeze to programmatically find my cellphone and connect it and prod it, and it’s at this point I realised I had a problem. I can’t fetch arbitary input from it, hence I can’t use cellphones as input devices.

Which kind of throws a spanner in the works. Now I could target specific phones from this point on, and write an app that sends the information I want via Bluetooth, but currently this idea is on hold as what I really want is a nice general solution for all cellphones.

Jeremy Got Drunk

He drunkenly opposed this picture as well