Life Outside PLT1

I’m moderating the crap out of this post.

Hello god damn.

You may be wondering what the hell i’m doing here; but you know what? So am I.
There’s a very underrated concept coming to mind when I scroll down the page, in the outside world people refer to this concept as “QC”. This is mostly because people are either lazy or live in harsh desert environments where it is important to preserve your internal moisture by minimising breathing, perspiration and open-mouthed talking as saying what QC stands for in full would cause you to lose approximately 0.0013 cc of moisture over simply saying QC, considering how much i’m going to use the acronym QC in this here article that would add up to a fairly significant amount of water, bile, blood and trace urine you will have saved up if you were to read this post out loud over the hypothetical post containing QC in it’s exploded (expanded) form.

QC does quite a bit more than simply providing a topic with which to surround with cryptic paragraphs; here’s a few things that QC has done for us:
- Regulated the amount of rodent faeces food ingredients may be exposed to in storage
- Limited the maximum length of time frozen units of sperm may be stored for
- Blocked the release of horrible non-franchise computer games in non-holiday periods
- Blocked the release of Son of Wang: Parts 7-99
- Blocked the release of Son of Wang: The Illustrated Series
- Blocked the release of Son of Wang: The Movie
- Blocked the release of pictures of my own wang

And therein lies the point of QC. Self-censorship in some ways but in many other ways applying a buttplug to the anus that wants to shit all over the concept of good taste.
But on the other hand, too much QC can be bad; take for instance all the excellent and promising TV shows Fox has cancelled over the years but then again some could argue that intelligent QC would have saved those shows leading us to the conclusion that Fox QC is backwards in nature working to preserve the shit in which case it’s not QC at all.

So let’s all come together and QC intelligently and QC alot. But not too much.

QC

NOTE:
Son of Wang: Parts 7-99/The Illustrated Series/The Movie do not exist and never will. Pictures of my own wang do not exist -to my knowledge- but may one day exist or may already exist. My own wang does exist.

The Weekly Post

Seriously, someone make some content

Quest for Progress, aka Silly != content

Originally posted on Udder Madness. Reposted because a) content, b) make search engines hate me, c) something to do, d) profit.

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Has anyone played Progress Quest? It’s a little single-player RPG that takes the grinding out of RPGs. Which means that it just runs in the background spouting random RPG-related text to the GUI, with the net effect of looking like Kingdom of Loathing played by a bot.

You start it, it runs. It quests for you, kills stuff, empties bags, buys new gear, and you can watch those little Progress bars… progress. Slowly. And after a while, very slowly. And while this is doubtlessly more interesting than whatever work you’re meant to be doing, homework you’re procrastinating about, or blog you’re trying to read, it’s still a bit single-minded (GRIND GRIND GRIND!).

I’m thinking we can do better than this. Hereby introducing Quest for Progress. The non-interactive RPG of the future. It’s so futuristic there won’t even be a QFP1, but we’ll move straight to QFP2. There will be a single player option that can start as soon as your computer loads, and a MMONIRPG (massively multiplayer online non-interactive role-playing game), with over 2 people per server!

This game will be so awesome that if you close it and then load it again later it will extrapolate what would’ve happened while it was off. No more losing game-time when a tornado takes out some pylons!

Further features (which in fact may or may not be implemented):
- no more spending ages deciding on a class, they’re all the same anyway so QFP has the option of assigning you one automatically (defaults to “Village Idiot”)
- no more spending ages deciding on a name, QFP has the option of assigning you one automatically (also defaults to “Village Idiot”)
- the same goes for race, except that “Village Idiot” is not a race
- better quests: escorts, debaucherie, highland games, marry an heiress, earn a Darwin award, engage in massive public quests
- more realism: QFP will occasionally create an alt for you, and level that one instead (defaults to “other Village Idiot”)
- PvP: QFP will include player-versus-player combat (well, QFP-versus-QFP combat)
- NPCs will have names, they may not be very good names, but they will exist
- trophies: QFP will randomly award you completely meaningless things for doing stuff you had no hand in doing (we’re basing this on a beaureaucratic model). Other QFP ‘players’ may or may not view these.
- new hairstyles!
- new dances!
- destructible buildings (actually, no, that won’t be happening)
- realm versus realm combat (also a nono, sorry)
- bugs!
- false promises!
- ambiguity!
- lag! (although not sure how we’ll do this)
- free beer on fridays! (we are, in fact, working on this. But only on fridays)
- salvation and forgiveness for your sins! (QFP creators hereby forgive you for all sins committed before last summer)
- the wrong release date (next week, honest)
- colons in future titles, because more colon makes everything better!
- and many other things we’ll add when we see that they work for other companies (currently considering Google ads)

Quest for Progress 2: we hope you’ll join us
Your village called, they want their idiot back
Things QFP might not have (read: probably won’t):
- monsters
- graphics
- spells
- items
- a way to install it
- features

Adventures in Shaken Milk

Milkshakes are very easy to make. All you need is a banana or two, some milk, and a blender. But that’s not very interesting.

Milkshakes are also very easy to extend. The basis is extremely versatile. It’ll take just about any of fruit, some vegetables, confectionery or dairy products and other stuff. Now that is interesting.

To demonstrate, here are some simple milkshake recipes I’ve tried or plan to try…

Basic smoothie

• 2 girls bananas
• 1 cup hot milk
• 1 orange
• 2 tbsp porridge oats (rolled)

Partly cook the oats in the milk. Dice bananas and orange. Blend everything. Serve chilled.

I find the oats add a non-uniform chunky texture whereas a plain smoothie is too smooth.

Juicy shake

• 2 bananas
• 1 cup hot milk
• 2 tbsp porridge oats (rolled)
• 1/2 cup fruit juice of any sort (I used a bottled “tropical” type)
• 3 scoops vanilla ice cream

Same principle as above, except this serves more. And there’s extra creaminess from the ice cream. I prefer to blend it rather than serve scoops on top, just out of laziness.

Speaking of laziness, I’ve yet to make tonight’s shake. I’m planning on:

Chocolate shake

• 2 bananas
• 1 cup milk
• 1 diced mango
• half cup ground milk chocolate (Whitaker’s Kiwi Fruit here)
• 3 scoops vanilla ice cream

At this point I’m just putting together whatever is on hand, really. And that’s the great thing about milkshakes. Tasty, fresh, and ridiculously easy to create. Now go make one.

10 Games you should have played, but probably didn’t [5-1]

5: Wonderboy 3 : The Dragon’s Trap

How good is this game? There’s an emulator dedicated to it. Platform game for the SEGA master system. Killing a dragon at the start of the game results in you being transformed into a lizard, and hence your quest begins slaying all that stand in your way in your quest to become HU-MAN again. It’s well worth playing the sequels on the mega drive as well, Wonderboy 6 (Monster World IV) is particularly good.

4: Transport Tycoon Deluxe

Chris Sawyer’s masterpiece. Shift goods around the map for profit. Easy to get into while you try and construct a transportation monopoly, bribing town officials as you go. What makes it really interesting though is the OpenTDD clone that uses the data files. This lets you play the game multiplayer over the internet with 8 players. Complete and utter chaos, but also good fun.

3: Skyroads

Only three buttons needed. Left, right and the spacebar to jump. You can download it here from Bluemoon software directly.

2: Captain Comic 2

The original Captain Comic may have been the first sidescroller for the PC. Telling a story of genetic experiments gone awry. It’s never really explained why the natives of the planet have access to a machine that can travel in space and time but since in the first half of the game you meet some guys called the Skrejgib perhaps the machine can be explained away by Ecivedtolp.

1: Twinsen’s Odyssey.

Epic. Seemlessly going from puzzle to puzzle, while stretching a storyline across three planets. You’ll find yourself playing it for hours longer than you meant to. Trust me, it’s worth the effort getting this game. Your life just isn’t complete unless you’ve played this game.

10 Games you should have played, but probably didn’t [10-6]

10. Metal Slug 3

Unless you’ve spent some time in the arcades you probably haven’t even seen or heard of this game, because it’s home platform is the Neogeo. Simple sidescrolling run and gun. The pinnacle of the series, the final mission can only be described as epic, involving defeating a country, fighting aliens, assaulting an alien mothership in space, blowing it up and fighting the alien brain while you plummet back to earth. Arriving back just in time for lunch. Unless you want to spend a day or two wrestling with a Neogeo emulator your best bet now would be to grab it for the Wii or Xbox360.

9. Netstorm: Islands at War.

Netstorm suffered from being pretty much online only and being released in 1997. Though to be fair it was playable on 24.4K. Titanic Entertainment was responsible for this title and you probably haven’t heard about it because you could convert the demo into the full retail version, hence sales weren’t exactly strong. You can download it here at Netstorm HQ. It still has an active community even now, a quirky little RTS that’s kind of like Tetris in the sky.

8. Quest for Glory 3

Sierra hybrid RPG/Adventure game. The most user friendly of the Quest for Glory series, it doesn’t have a text parser like the first two and isn’t plagued by bugs like the fourth. Insanely expensive to get nowadays, the QfG collection depending on the day could set you back nearly 140USD on Ebay so it might be easier to source it from elsewhere.

7. Eternal Daughter

Free platform game from Blackeye software. Reasonably difficult but well worth the effort to finish. If you want to play it you can get it here off Derek Yu’s site.

6. Traffic Department 2192

Top down shooter that was rarely known even when it was released. The game is a bit mundane, but makes up for it with the most random story line ever. Includes such bizzare lines as “you duranium dildo”.

Paladin stuff in wotlk

Loflk, here’s another beta post.

So let’s recap; one of my character copies was my paladin, Octavio. On the live realms; a prot paladin covered in epics. Here he is chilling in Shattrath:

But… he’s not Octavio anymore. That’s the beta realm he’s standing around in; having been forced to get a name change, his name is Bonder. LOFL

But anyway, upon logging in I found that all my talent points had been refunded. So I wasted no time in taking advantage of this. After making the rounds picking up new talents and swapping gear into my bags, I headed off to Vengeance Landing and put on my clown suit;
Continue reading Paladin stuff in wotlk…

NORTHREND?

So yeah wtf man i’m in the wotlk beta.

Short post now since I have to leave shortly, but i’m gonna go ahead and document a few things; surely some of you are curious about Death Knights and it just so happens that I made one.

Almost entirely out of spite, I created a female Blood Elf Death Knight named Septavia; yes I created it out of spite because my paladin, Octavio, was flagged for a name change and I ended up giving him the name that I reserved on a live realm for a future DK but that’s a story for another post.

Anywho; here’s a few key points (spoiler free) that you should know about:

- In the “hit things alot” department, DKs seem to play alot like rogues, with multiple low damage melee abilities.
- Even post-nerf, DKs are really really really strong; with the right rotation you can end up with no downtime at all. I’m talking walk into a group of 3 mobs on full health and walk away in good enough condition to fight another 2.
- The later DK starting area quests are really really cool.
- After finishing the DK starting zone, you will be level 58 or close to it.
- The last few DK starting zone quests are really really cool. Even if you don’t want a DK, you absolutely need to do the starting zone for the lore and such, it’s delicious.

Screenshot:

Excellent Music

Aram Khachaturian - Sabre Dance

Jerry Goldsmith - Main Title (Patton)

John Adams - Short Ride in a Fast Machine

Clint Mansell - Requiem for a Dream

Camille Saint-Saëns - Danse Macabre

Samuel Barber - Adagio for Strings

Aaron Copland - Fanfare for the Common Man

George Gershwin - Rhapsody in Blue

O_o Guy Java Source Code and Game

As promised here’s the source code to O_o Guy (formerly known as Noodles). The code is a mess and there’s a lot of bugs, but it’s still playable.

Commands: Up/Down/Left/Right move our hero. R restarts the level.

And how can you not love a game with art like this?

If you just want to play: Click Here

Otherwise hit read more for the source.
Continue reading O_o Guy Java Source Code and Game…