Life Outside PLT1

You guys are pathetic sacks of shit.

Seriously, god damn.

Is this what you fuck ups consider to be content? I mean, shit… If I wanted to read a back and forth e-penis banter, i’d write one myself.

Want to see some content? I’ll show you something…

Exhibit A:

“WANG JUSTICE” - a short story by Sicopath.
Warning: May contain offensive themes, mature language and far too many inside jokes.

So yeah, there I was minding my own bussiness, kicking back on a park bench, reading some erotic Sesame Street fan fiction that I downloaded on my P-P-P-Powerbook. It was a lovely sunlit morning so I decided to jack it.

I unzipped my pants and my huge tree-trunk sized skinwhip rolled furiously out of my pants, crushing a picnic basket. I apologised to the picnickers and lifted my wang so they could salvage whatever and move on.

Unfortunately, I must have gotten some mayonaise smeared on my wang from the basket-crushing because some old bitch was led over to my massive beat-head by some little poodle thingy attached to the woman by a piece of twine. The poodle leapt onto my wang and began licking the delicious sauce.

Now, I had nothing against having my cock licked by a poodle, but the old hag was in my field of vision, preventing me from getting even a shadow of a boner to jack off to my erotic Sesame Street fanfiction so I got angry! I yelled out “BITCH! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU INDIAN HOUSEWIFE!” this didn’t go over well with the woman, as she began cursing at me, I don’t remember what exactly happened next but I ended up holding the poodle by the hind legs and smacking the old hag across the face with the stupid mutt.

The old woman was now on the ground face-up, with a mighty heave I lifted one of my boulder-esque testicles, the last thing the woman heard was “good night” as I dropped my testicle on her head, crushing her skull and killing her immediately.

FATALITY.

Even I am lost for words!!!

Forums

We have forums.

I am now poor again, new phone + forums = no money.

Linkage

One for Zorab

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/09/19/aussie_isps_new_logo.html

(Less said, the better.)

Decisions

So the elections are over (almost). In reflection, it is apparent that for many people, making their decision for their first vote turned out to be quite difficult. To see why, we should look at this detailed analysis - a la National - of policies across the political spectrum.

And here’s Don Brash getting down with it.

Jet Powered Beer Cooler

http://asciimation.co.nz/beer/

You know your good when you make it to slashdot!!!

WTF!!!

Here’s something a friend of mine send me. The really sad part is they even tried to justify something that stupid!!!

Condoms are our ‘mini billboards’
Friday, 15 July 2005, 12:37 pm
Press Release: Young Labour
15 July 2005

New Zealand Young Labour

Condoms are our ‘mini billboards’

Young Labour, the youth wing of the New Zealand Labour Party, has taken a novel approach to talking to young people about politics this year - condoms.

“We are handing out condoms with stickers on them that say ‘be safe with Labour’ and ‘don’t get screwed by National” said Conor Roberts, President of Young Labour.

“They are our little mini billboards.

“People always take them with a bit of a laugh, we use them to initiate a conversation with young people who aren’t normally engaged in the normal course of political events. Its Young Labour’s job to get youth interested in politics and the condoms are a part of that.

“Talking with young people about the issues they are concerned about, it is obvious that their interests are different to what they might hear about in the media.

“Young Labour is metting a good response when we’re out there talking about how this government didn’t send combat troops to Iraq, how there is more New Zealand music on the radio and TV, how Labour will keep New Zealand nuclear free and how we have invested heaps more in tertiary education” concluded Roberts

Gallery 2

Due to massive problems caused by the inline php in posts (yes Simon I’m looking at you), I’ve installed Gallery 2.

It’s currently residing here

The lan pictures are up there, the account that can view the pictures has the same user/pass as is the password to view the private lan pages. Using this account or creating your own will let you view the files in the gallery at the original res. Which means that some of the shots are available in 2272×1704 (1.6MB each)

New things are coming on the site (asides from the really bad jokes), however I’ve got two assignments and a test to do first.

Gripe sheets

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form as to what remedial action was taken. The pilot then reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

> > >(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
> > >(S = The solution/action taken by the engineers.)

> > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> > >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

> > > P: Test flight Okay, except auto-land very rough.
> > >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

> > > P: Something loose in cockpit.
> > >S: Something tightened in cockpit.

> > > P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > >S: Live bugs on back-order.

> > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> > >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

> > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > >S: Evidence removed.

> > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > >S: DME volume set to more believable level.

> > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > >S: That’s what they’re there for.

> > >P: IFF inoperative.
> > >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

> > > P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> > >S: Suspect you’re right.

> > >P: Number 3 engine missing.
> > >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

> > > P: Aircraft handles funny.
> > >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

> > > P: Target radar hums.
> > >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

> > >P: Mouse in cockpit.
> > >S: Cat installed.

> > >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> > >S: Took hammer away from midget.

They will be back..

here’s some fine art work by dan!!!